When is a bench not a bench?

My husband and I are devoted fans of the BBC show “Detectorists.” Not a huge amount happens in it. Two friends, Lance and Andy, wander over the fields metal detecting, chatting about University Challenge, ring pulls and the never-seen but often discussed Bob Cromer (poor old Bob). We love the humour, the characterisation, the music and of course the setting. The fictional Essex town of Danebury is actually Framlingham, just up the road from us in East Suffolk. From time to time, we amuse ourselves by taking a trip over there to tick locations off our lists. Some are really obvious. The Castle pub is the exterior of the Two Brewers, much loved by the DMDC, while its interior is the Crown up the A12 at Great Glemham. Lance’s house is just up from the church, which itself makes several appearances in all three series. However, there are the odd locations which have us completely stumped.

In no particular order, here they are:

1.    The bench where Lance sits waiting for Kate while Sophie and Peter spy on him.

2.    Andy and Becky’s house.

3.    Lance’s place of work, the fruit and veg yard.

Framlingham College sits on a hill looking over the Mere and the castle immortalised by Suffolk’s own Ed Sheeran. It appears several times in Detectorists, both inside and out. I was there on Monday, having a meeting with two of its fine staff. We started chatting about the show and to my delight, both Tracey and Tom were a mine of information as they hosted the cast and crew a fair bit during filming.

That bench, for which we’ve searched many times in vain, was brought in by the crew and placed in a meadow alongside a fake lamp post and bin. It looked so real. It wasn’t. No wonder we couldn’t find it. The yard which Lance roars into in his yellow TR7 is actually on Bentwaters, the old RAF base in Rendlesham. The police station is the exterior of a college boarding house (complete with fake sign) and the hypnotherapy centre where Lance goes to try to cure his seasickness is a number of locations around the college.

As we chatted, we agreed that things look so different on the TV to the way they do in real life. The closest we viewers get is when we watch the DVD extras (told you we were fans) and get to see a scene surrounded by all the paraphernalia of filming. Dollies and dolly tracks, people with clapperboards, sound equipment, make up ladies hovering in the background. You know they’re there, but when you’re watching the show, you pretend they're not.

Like the concept of  the willing suspension of disbelief (you read a work of fiction, you know it’s all made up but you agree with the author to pretend it’s real), TV shows sell themselves to us by encouraging us to believe that it’s just two men trudging over a muddy Suffolk field with their detectors, even though we know that they’re surrounded by the crew.

A bench that is not a bench. A solitary field peopled by crowds of invisible workers. So much in life appears to be one thing but is actually quite another. Friendships which start well but soon falter. Jobs which promise much but turn out to be a pointless slog. Social media posts about perfect lives which mask great sadness.

I was at the College to chat about the upcoming concert by Christina Johnston there this Saturday. Looking at pictures of Christina (I’ve attached one), you might think she is some kind of semi-divine being who lives in a tower somewhere, clad in beautiful gowns 24/7. In fact, she is the most delightful, down-to-earth person who is very modest about her God-given talent. I’ve shared in the past how she’s converted me to opera (well, some of it) with her beautiful voice. She is the real thing, unlike that bench. If you want to come and enjoy a wonderful evening, click here to find out more: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/christina-johnston-concert-miracle-of-the-voice-tickets-77908102231?fbclid=IwAR1ta9mLd4Wgo7mcWfP4-3YHSsh8i7vLZmNsakjiL2n8wz2nUhNhgRh1FHY

As I’ve grown older, I’ve started to learn discernment and to distinguish what’s real from what’s fake. Just like that bench, not everything is in its correct place, but there is plenty out there to enjoy to and to believe in. And now all we need to do is track down Andy and Becky's house. Anyone out there with any ideas.....?

Image by Pixabay